In episode 2.02, Lynette was having some convincing Tom that the house was a mess and that his “great system” didn’t work. Every time she pointed it out, Tom let her know that she was no longer in charge of the house, it was his responsibility, and she should not boss him around.

Normally Lynette would have spent a sleepless night telling herself she didn’t have control issues. But she couldn’t. She was too busy figuring out how to bend Tom to her will.

–Episode 02.02 – You Could Drive a Person Crazy

So one day, Lynette bought a rat and released it in the house. The next time that Lynette came home, the her home was spotless! Tom explained to her that he finally came to his senses and realized that his system really wasn’t working. Lynette, feigning surprise, asked Tom how he got rid of it. Tom frankly said that he killed it with a shovel and put the body in the trash. Later, Lynnette feeling sorry for the rat, went outside to take out the garbage. She said the mangled corpse, “I know it’s not much consolation, but you really helped my marriage. That’s a lot for a little rat to accomplish in one lifetime.”

My Take on Rodents

Personally, I’ve had a thing against all kinds of rodents: rats, mice, hamsters, and guinea pigs. You name it! They’ve always cause problems for me throughout me life.

1. When I was a kid and a teenager, mice would make holes in my good clothes.
2. When I was in college, they pooped everywhere in the kitchen and made so much noise. Oh, and they also ruined my clothes.
3. Recently, they’ve been roaming the garage, making noise, chewing on wood, destroying belongings, and dying in hard-to-reach, hard-to-find places, thus stinking up the house.

Just thinking about them makes my blood boil. I am literally filled with hate and rage against them! I’ve actually went as far as to batter, crush, smash, suffocate, drown, electrocute, and smite the helpless ones that I managed to find in order to wipe out their posterity. I’m a murderer. But, that’s a long story.

Conventional Methods

Of course, there are also other more conventional methods of mouse and rat extermination. I’ve tried them all and I know the pros, cons, and the ones that work best.

Inaudible High-frequency Sounds

You’ve seen these advertised on TV and in mail-order catalogs. “Drive all pests away with this hyper-sonic device that emits a human-inaudible noise.”

• Pros – There is nothing to clean up. It’s as easy as plugging it in. Safe for humans.
• Cons – These devices run for at least $20. High-frequency devices generally do not work. Rodents and other pests will get used to the sound and learn to ignore it.

Glue Sticky Paper

This is paper lined with glue designed to trap all pests on the surface.

• Pros – Inexpensive. Safe for humans
• Cons – Cleanup. These, too, do not work especially if the pest is moderately sized. Though, it may work for so baby-sized pests.

Snap Traps and Live Traps

These traps are probably the ones that you are most familiar with. They are often seen in comedy sketches and movies where one of the characters get caught and hurt in one of the traps. Live traps are just small boxes that lure and detain pests inside.

• Pros – Inexpensive. Most of the time, snap traps work. Live traps often work.
• Cons – Cleanup is really disgusting. Snap traps are hard to set up and it is easy to get injured.

Rodenticides

This is common rat poisoning. Never ever use them in a building. Only use them outside.

• Pros – These will always work.
• Cons – It is very difficult to find the body. Rodents may die in impossible-to-reach places. Kids and animals may eat the poison.

Electronic Traps

These are similar to live traps. The rodent is lured by the food and gets electrocuted in return.

• Pros – These worked the best for me.
• Cons – Cleanup. Expensive. Traps are at least $20.

Conclusion

So there you have it! Now, I exclusively recommend Electronic Traps because they’ve worked the best for me. I’ve tried everything! High-pitched frequencies are a gimmick. Sticky paper only works for small pests like spiders and cockroaches. Snap traps are hard to set up, they can injure loved ones, and they are a pain to cleanup. Rodenticides kill mice in unexpected places and at unexpected times. Electronic traps are not messy and they get the job done. Though they are a little pricey, the traps are reusable and they work all the time (at least for me).

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