Bree: I got you the honey mustard dressing. The ranch looked just a little bit suspect.
Rex: Bree, are we gonna talk about what I said?
Bree: If you think that I’m gonna discuss the dissolution of my marriage in a place where the restrooms are labeled Chicks and Dudes, you’re out of your mind!
Rex: What’s in this?
Bree: What do mean, “What’s in this?” It’s salad.
Rex: With onions? You put onions in my salad!
Bree: No I didn’t! Oh wait…
Rex collapses on the floor.

–Desperate Housewives – Episode 01.01 – Pilot

A salad is a vegetarian’s or a vegan’s best friend. I love them! They are so fresh and crisp! When prepared correctly, without pale nutrition-less vegetables (like Iceberg Lettuce), but with deep rich color, they add elegance to the meal.

Ironically, while the actual salad is great for us vegetarians and vegans, we have to be wary of the toppings. Sometimes they are “a little bit suspect” in a vegetarian or vegan sort of way. Often, food establishments serve their salads laden with bacon shavings, chicken strips, milk-based dressings, or even dressings with anchovies. Like Pasta alla Puttanesca, which I covered in my last post, some dressings unexpectedly have anchovies.

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Mary Alice: Susan had met the enemy and she was a slut.
Mike: What’s this?
Edie: Sausage puttanesca. Just something I threw together.
Mike:That’s great. I’d invite you both in, but I was sort of in the middle of something.

–Desperate Housewives – Episode 01.01 – Pilot

It turns out that Bree isn’t the only cook on Wisteria Lane! When watching this episode, I’ve always wondered about this sausage puttanesca. After a bit of research, I found an interesting correlation (and a great recipe). Apparently, puttanesca is an Italian pasta sauce. Surprisingly, the word “puttanesca” was derived from “puttana” (Italian) or “puta” (Spanish Vulgar) which means prostitute, whore, slut, etc. The writers for Desperate Housewives are so cleaver! They had Edie, who by Mary Alice’s judgment was a slut, serve Mike whore sauce. The symbolism!

The connection between “women of easy virtue” and pasta sauce comes from Naples. Prostitutes made this slightly spicy sauce with pasta for two reasons. 1) It enticed male customers as they set it on the windowsill. 2) It was the quickest and cheapest thing to make between “clients.” Like Edie said, its just something they “threw together.”

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Rex: “What are you thinking about?”
Bree: “Oh, I was just, um, thinking that I need to start, uh, spring cleaning.”
Rex: “You haven’t done that yet?”
Bree: “No, and I need to clean out our rain gutters, and, uh, beneath the refrigerator, and I can’t tell you how long it’s been since I’ve replaced the shelf liner, so…”
Rex: “Then you’ll finish off with our wedding silver.”

–Desperate Housewives – Episode 01.23 – One Wonderful Day

Last week was spring break for my kids. You know what that means? It’s family spring cleaning time! Spring cleaning is a great event when you can make the family help you clean the house. Of course, I gave my sons and husband the brute work with the garage and the yards. My daughter helped me in the house like with dusting and polishing. But, there is one place in the house where my family balks to clean, the bathroom. They are such wimps! So, I always end up cleaning it. Cleaning the bathroom always conjures up old memories of my college days when I had to take up a janitor job to pay for my school bill. I hated every minute of it! But, it did teach me a couple of things that helped me later in life as a “domestic goddess.”

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